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"If you're salesmen, go away!" he said through the door. "I'm not buying!"

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Patalliro the 8th:
The ten-year-old king of Malynera. He is a child genius, having finished both his lower and higher levels of education. He is a master of disguise. He is an inventor and a scientist. He can travel through time. He also has the emotional maturity of a two-year-old. His escapades and strange games are well-known to his caretakers, who often have a hard time keeping up with him. Perhaps his most enduring gift to posterity is the "Cock Robin Dance".

Birthday: April 1st (haha)

Jack Barbarossa Bancoran:
His nickname is "Pretty Boy Killer"; he can cause any young man to swoon with his powerful stare. He's a 27-year-old MI-6 agent with a 00 license to kill. When he was much younger his father died and his mother squandered the family fortune. She became indebted to a rather slimy character named Schrenger. Schrenger made her a deal: more money if she would give him guardianship of Bancoran, and he would take care of the boy's schooling. Of course he didn't even wait to leave the house before taking advantage of young Bancoran, and the boy fled into the night. He was then picked up by Carl Grosvenor, who trained him to be a spy.

Birthday: December 25th

An assassin, and Bancoran's younger lover. Maraich worked for Count Laken and the IDS, but was captured by Bancoran, who "persuaded" him to change sides. He's eighteen-years-old, with the temper and hormones to match.


Plasma's often bad-tempered wife. She's not really a bad person, though.
The Great Devil who features in Patalliro's long dream. He is one of a select bunch of demon lords, and his worst enemy is Beelzebub. Beelzebub's trickery forces him to take refuge in the human world.
The Author:
Mineo Maya often makes appearances to act the part of the deus ex machina. How can you not love him?
Keene Bancoran:
Bancoran's uncle, responsible for the death of his father and dog. This is the younger Keene, because I refuse to admit he's aged.
A Great Devil from Patalliro's dream. Astaroth's worst enemy.
The Black Tamanegi:
The Tamanegi who work undercover in foreign countries. They've infiltrated everywhere. (see "Tamanegi")
Chief of Police:
The long-suffering chief of Malynera's police force also seems to be an impromptu secretary for Patalliro. He can often be found racing around the globe with papers for the young king to sign. He might look like the straight man in this comedy team, but don't let appearances decieve you.
Custom Dodecotuplets:
Patalliro's 12 baby cousins from the Custom royal family. Because they're too cute not to put here.
Patalliro's mother lives in a retreat in the Swiss Alps because of health problems. When she's feeling strong she'll venture out, and Bancoran's presence often works as a miracle cure.
An American CIA agent and friend of Bancoran. He's also an incorrigible lolicon, but we'll leave that story for another time.
Damien Knight:
Bancoran and Damien went through training together before being accepted into MI-6. Damien helped Ban recover from his traumatic rape, and Ban helped Damien recover from drug withdrawl after he was captured on a mission by the KGB.
Junior (Bjorn):
The son of the #9 man in the IDS (International Diamond Sydicate). Sent to assassinate Patalliro during his coronation. He slips when he tries to lure Bancoran away to safety from his deadly trap.
Count Duran Du Laken:
Laken is the one who picked Maraich up off the streets when he ran away from school. When he observed the boy's good reactions, he trained Maraich to be the assassin he is today. They were also lovers.
Second-in-command of the demon world, answers to Satan and does his biding.
Patalliro's long lost, older half-brother. Tricked by the KGB, he tries to assassinate Patalliro.
Mickey Mouse (Bat):
A professional assassin who changes his alliances more often than Bancoran picks up young men. He works for the highest bidder.
The cat demon who loves and works for Astaroth. It's her common sense that keeps Astaroth and Patalliro fed and housed.
New Year's Eve:
The old man who represents New Year's Eve. A slightly malicious trickster who can affect reality with bad puns.
A stray cat who adopts Patalliro, or perhaps it's the other way around.
Patalliro the 6th:
Patalliro's ancestor whom he becomes in his long dream of devils and demons. He was brought back to life by Lord Astaroth.
Patalliro the 7th:
Patalliro's ancestor from the 16th century, who fought off the English fleet. With Patalliro's hint he found the diamond mines which keep Malynera secure.
Patalliro the 10th:
Patalliro's descendent from the 24th century.
Plasma X:
Patalliro's strongest robot. He can't speak, but he says everything he needs to with body language and gestures. Super strong, he can fly and shoot lasers as well. He is also an excellent housewife.
Plasma's high-tempered daughter. This is one robot child with a lot of problems.
The title star of Maya's "Rashanu" series, this Indian prince pops up from time to time, and is almost an even match for Patalliro.
(Alpha) Random:
Plasma X's son. When Patalliro was creating him, a rival robot-maker stole his personality computer and reprogrammed him, but he was stopped from doing any real damage by his sister.
Iomante Sanders:
Bancoran's boss in MI-6. He's famous for his lightening-fast draw, but his shooting could use some work...
Spy Cat:
An old friend of Patalliro's. He has the bad characteristics of a cliche spy: drinking problem, language, women. Patalliro spends a lot of time and money bailing him out of trouble.
The numbered tamanegi (onion-heads) are the protectors of Patalliro. They try to keep their charge in hand and usually end up doing the work necessary to keep Malynera running. Beneath their wigs and glasses, the tamanegi are all beautiful young men.
An American psychic. Patalliro discovers his weak point (he's fiendishly ticklish) and tries to use him in his money-making schemes.